Sexual attraction is what you feel when you want to have sex with someone (whether you know the person or not). It can be driven by physical appearance, sense of humor, intelligence, and more. Unlike libido (sex drive), sexual attraction is driven by specific people, not by a physical need. But what about other the attractions? Here are five types that can be experienced with or without sexual attraction.
1. Sensual
It is common to think that sensual and sexual attraction are synonymous. As the name suggests, sensuality involves senses. Whether it’s to take someone’s hand, smell their hair, look deep into their eyes, or taste their lips, these urges are, at root, sensual rather than sexual. Even if it can be very pleasant to combine the two!
2. Aesthetics
We all know people who we find breathtakingly gorgeous, but with whom we would never want to sleep with. Aesthetic attraction is when you find a person simply good looking. What makes you say “you’re beautiful” instead of “you’re sexy”. You may be sexually attracted to someone you find aesthetically pleasing, but these two types of attraction are not necessarily always aligned with each other.
3. Romantic
Romantic attraction is what makes you want to form a romantic relationship with someone. Some even have a completely separate romantic orientation from their sexual orientation. For example, a homosexual aromantic person feels no romantic attraction towards any gender, but is sexually attracted to individuals of the same gender. It is an attraction that goes beyond physical appearances and is rather caused by the personality of another person (or the idea that you have of their personality). But just because you’re romantically attracted to someone doesn’t mean you’re in love! The difference is the reason why you go on a second date with your Tinder match, but don’t ask them right away to move in with you and spend the rest of their life by your side.
4. Platonic
To love someone platonically is to love them as a friend. It’s as powerful as romantic attraction, but oh so different. This type of attraction is the reason why you love your friends passionately, but you would not be willing to have a sexual and/or romantic relationship with all of them. Fun fact: a platonic crush is called a squish!
5. Altered
It is neither a platonic nor a romantic attraction. Surely you know someone that you don’t necessarily count as your friend, and with whom you would not want to have a romantic relationship with, but with whom you still have an important emotional connection. Like a co-worker you love to talk and open up with but wouldn’t invite over for a movie night at your house. Altered attraction is what you feel when you have some desire for emotional closeness with someone, but the terms platonic and romantic don’t adequately describe the kind of relationship you want with that person.
All these types of attractions can be felt both separately and collectively. By analyzing all these emotions, we can more easily understand our desires and impulses.
Were you already familiar with these types of attraction?
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